These Are His Stories (Not Mine) Vol. 1 & 2

Volume 1: His Life at the Waiting Shed

He’s been doing not much at work for the last few months, because he is still ‘benched’ and despite him turning one year at his job very soon, there seems to be very little signs that he’ll be rolled-in to a new project anytime near. Somehow, people think that he is lucky where he is at right now since he earns just the same without the normal pressure people have in an actual project. His IM is open the whole day at work, he gets to surf all the sites that are not blocked by this thing called Websense with less worry that someone’s watching over his back. He gets to slouch on his office chair sometimes, and he doesn’t recall the last day he needed to work overtime.

While people think that he is lucky, for him, he is seriously left behind. All his colleagues are not with him anymore and are rather having actual job experiences for a long time now and are getting the most of what they can have out of a professional environment. While he is making very little progress on his career but then he realized he didn’t have any choice. Undeniably, he wasn’t happy with his situation.

It’s like sitting at the waiting shed with no idea what time the next bus will stop and pick you up and where will the bus actually take you.

Volume 2: His Old Friends and New Textmate

He rarely texts his friends or forwards text quotes/jokes to them and this is as rarely as he receives the same from them. But whenever they plan get-togethers like group dates, he would always volunteer to inform everyone through text and this is when he finds it most practical to own a cellphone. He was holding his phone firmly and looking at it, he recalled how his phone unit model has changed from when he was still studying to now that he is already working. Suddenly he realized that just like his cellphone, some friendships have changed too.

Despite this, he has found a new motivation to hold his cell phone more often as he awaits the next text message from his new friend. Well, not really new, since they’ve known each other way back in college. It was yet another ‘friendship’ based on text exchanges, he thought. And although he ought to be more careful with handling this one, somehow he has managed his expectations that this could be temporary as well.

For the meantime, he is happy.

Fire

Everyone in our house were alerted and awaken by a voice from our neighbor yelling 'Fire!'. This was before 6 in the morning on Easter Sunday, and the first thing I did was to call out my mom who's in the other bedroom with my younger, and go outside to confirm and see how far the fire is from our house. It wasn't long before we knew that the fire was starting from our neighbor’s house, the one near mom's bedroom and not from afar as we all have initially perceived. I started to panic. While mom and E-jay were outside to help put out the fire with the rest of neighbors, I was deciding what to do first: a.) call up the fire station b.) contact my 'kuya' for help c.) begin saving items before the fire becomes uncontrollable which leads me to yet another decision making—what to save first? Thank God the fire was discovered early and was able to be extinguished before it could cause further damage or loss. About 15minutes only, without the need of firemen and only the 'bayanihan' of neighbors, the fire was put off and it became an instant talk of the 'barangay'.

How the fire really started is somewhat a mystery. The dwellers of the house couldn't figure it out themselves—it wasn’t due to short circuit, candle left unlit, or gas stove explosion. On the other hand, how the fire has been controlled and eventually put out fast was the luck story of the day. Indeed, God was good to us.

I remember the last time there was a fire in our place, some two years ago. It was farther from our house, in New York compound almost near the elementary school I went to but the fire was bigger that we can see the flames and smoke from our terrace. Yet, we were already getting prepared for the worst scenario—that is loosing our house so we started packing things. It was much easier then because Dad was home for vacation and I realized that it was completely different then when we had a strong man in the house who would keep us safe despite the panic scenario. How I wish dad was here when the fire happened earlier this morning.

I can’t imagine loosing our house from fire. The house I lived in for all of my life. The house I go home to every night after work. The house mom and dad have invested for our family. It would be really hard for me to let go of it especially if beyond our will but if then the situation calls for the inevitable… like many things in life we have to let go of it.

Let’s appreciate what we have now because you can have many things today and by tomorrow loose everything you have.

My Own Grey's Anatomy Episode

Nobody likes to be sick or spend some time at a hospital. As kids, we would always give our parents a hard time in taking that raspberry-flavored cough syrup. We would fear and oftentimes end up crying whenever we need an injection. And we hate visits to the doctor, especially having to wait long before we get our turn. As we become grown-ups, our worries go beyond injections, bad-tasting medicines and doctor visits… we become more conscious with our health yet we are never excused from getting sick and spending time at a hospital…

March 19, early Monday morning, I got up having a headache from a bad chain of dreams and fever due to my cough & cold that have gotten worse since Saturday evening. I knew I wasn’t feeling well and despite mom having prepared my breakfast already, I opted to return to bed and not to go to work. When I finally got up to eat some breakfast it wasn’t long till I felt nauseous and soon my vision faded to blackout for a minute. I thought I was going blind, but soon the images went clear and after which was extremely perspiring like I’ve just run a mile. With mom, kuya, and my trusty health card, I was brought to the doctor for a check-up. Doctor said it was probably just because I abruptly got up from lying on bed that caused the momentary blackout. I was given a new set of medicines and after which, it was decided that I just take my rest at home. After almost 8 hours only, I experienced the brief vision blackout again. We returned to the hospital I was taken that morning. My blood pressure went low while my body temperature was high. Despite no obvious and serious life threat, I decided to be confined to have a better rest and medical attention in my own private room at the hospital.

After 3 days and 2 nights (though officially the bill stated only two days) in room 2, four bags of dextrose and about a dozen of temperature and BP checks by different nurses, I was discharged and I realized many things out of this experience. From simple ones like how hospital food are well-prepared and actually tasted good… how the dextrose attached on my left hand could be uncomfortable after a few days… to deeper matters, like how a mother selflessly attends to their sick children even if they’ve grown adults now… and how relatives are there to give emotional support when one is sick while some others we expect aren’t. Most importantly, I realized that this hospital experience is good but I don’t think it’s one of those experiences I’d like to go through all over again, because as anyone would want, I’d rather stay healthy.

As cliché as it sounds, health is really wealth. Nobody likes to be sick or spend some time at a hospital but even if we unconsciously try to avoid these from happening… one time or many times in our lives we will experience them and will teach us a lesson or two about our lives.

Between Last Night’s Hangout and This Morning’s Hangover

I was back hanging out in By the Bay at Island Cove with a different set of college friends last night. Judie, Anne, Jhing, Sheena, Rodel (who introduce us to this beach-themed bar) and I had our post-Valentine's celebration there a few weeks ago.This time, interestingly, only Rodel and I are the ones who have been there before while Jhoy, Wewe, Gladys and Jane were able to join us to commemorate the first year anniversary of our college graduation.

It turned out to be the official press conference for Jane's recent personal trial as well. Things were revealed last night, and somehow half of the mystery that surrounded the reason for this sad happening has been unveiled.

Personally, the second visit in By the Bay wasn’t as good as my first time. I wasn't feeling physically well since that morning, and it was extremely breezy when we were there that it aggravated my health condition. I didn't enjoy the food too, although we ordered the same as previous. The baked mussels, in particular I think, triggered me to have a nasty vomit, and thank God I was able to make it to the CR before I messed up and Rodel was there with me.

No doubt, I was that night's kill joy. I initially agreed to stay overnight at Rodel's place so that we friends can have more bonding time, but after that nasty puke, I knew it would be best that I just go home.

Gladys and I went on our respective houses while the four stayed for the night at Rodel’s. I was feeling better when I got up this morning although I still have such a bad hangover. I got a text message from Jane, telling me that they were with ‘someone-I-would-like-to-see' in the jeepney on their way to Malabon last night. Taking about coincidence, if only I wasn’t feeling ill last night, I would have gone with them to Rodel’ house as planned and had that chance in a lifetime to see this person I have not seen for more than a year. I am having a bit of regret, until I realized that this person might not be ready to see me either. Bottom line is, it wasn’t just meant to be.

My Palm That Doesn't Sweat

03.05.07. I finally purchased a Palm z22- not the most high-tech gadget out there and definitely an inexpensive one but something I've always wanted to own.

In the past several weeks, I've been contemplating much on what investment I'll get in time before coming bonus-a Sony Erricsson phone, an Ipod shuffle/nano, a Gameboy, a digital camera or a PDA. The last I found most practical since I like doing secretarial stuffs (setting dates, making to-do lists, writing notes) and for the simple reason that I wanted to make my life more organized.

Practicality, distinctiveness and budget were major players in my decision making. After several googling for product information and user reviews for Palm z22, realizing that I cannot afford the higher models (like the Palm Treo 680--which was on ny Xmas wishlist) and finding out in www.complink.com.ph that its price has been reduced by a thousand pesos, I finally bought it and I am now a few thousands poorer .

I did make a review of this gadget in a tech website; you may click on this link if you’re curious:

http://reviews.cnet.com/Palm_Z22/4852-3127_7-31546758.html?tag=srtdate&ord=creationDate+desc

Break Again

When two people in love break up and they’re both your friends, which side do you take, the one who called for a break-up for an undisclosed reason or the one who didn’t see a break-up coming?

The answer would be very easy but I guess as a friend, you should know how to place yourself in this kind of situation. A saying goes like ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’, but since the relationship is already broken, ‘if it ain’t you who broke it leave the fixing to the ones who caused it’. In the process, I realized that a break-up is something personal, something that shouldn’t be pressured by people outside that broken relationship. None of those two people owe their friends an explanation unless they want to. But what should be expected from a concerned friend?

A friend enters the picture once there is a breakdown and not during a break-up. A friend stays behind and not ahead and hopes that moving on will come easy for each and everyone.

I Gained & I Lost

Gain. It’s been a long Saturday for me. I was invited by one of my professors in college, Mam Shie to go to Baste today for a hosting stint --an inter-university quiz bee, one of the highlight events lined up for the 4^th PIIE Student Congress. Wow, never thought how big was this thing I got myself into until I stepped into the gymnasium and saw it full as if there was a PBA game going on. And then Mam Shie told me that IE students from different universities and colleges in Cavite, Manila, Bulacan, Batangas and even Baguio were all gathered under one roof for this event. Luckily I was only to host the quiz competition and the venue would not be on the gym instead at the auditorium. Also, I was partnered with Rejie Mae, one of my co-officers in CGATES before so I guess the pressure is cut in half. I like joining quiz bee (The last time I joined was about a year ago and it was held in UP) but hosting quiz bee per se, was a totally different experience. However, I could say that I did ok for a first timer. That is despite of the logistics problems of the organizers(activity started around 3 hours after the actual time), lack of preparation time (we only knew the unconventional mechanics of the quiz bee like an our before we started the hosting), the inconsistency of my voice (due to stress) and my mistakes (I buckled several times and I got booed by the audience when I forgot to read the second part of a question during the moderate round, but it was an honest fault of the person guiding us in the questionnaires). It was almost 8pm when the winners were declared (Go La Salle!), I was super tired. Before parting ways with Mam Shie, she handed both Rej and I- a card, and enclosed is a paper bill— a stipend.

Lost. During a short break as a quizmaster, I read a sad text message sent by my cousin, Kring telling me that our uncle has already lost his battle with his sickness and passed away. Uncle Fredo is my mom’s brother and although he only lives a few houses away from ours, I never get to see him that often and the last time I saw him was on Christmas day when I handed my Christmas present for him. When I got home, right after taking some dinner, I immediately proceeded at his wake. Standing in front of a coffin, the reality hit me that I lost an uncle… a father figure I had growing up while dad’s working abroad for our living… the man I know would stand by our family in the absence of our father. I did not cry when I saw him peacefully lying in there, for I know by that moment, Uncle Fredo is making his journey to a life more superior to the one he has experienced here on earth.

Teach Me But Tax Me Not

Teach. Initially, I thought having an Indian national as a training instructor for 6 weeks would be a complete stress, but after the first week, I realized my impression was wrong. I actually find myself enjoying the Oracle Manufacturing training despite the serious topics, the freezing temperature inside room 1.17, the lack of free snacks and Praveen’s Indian accent (we thought he was saying ‘missionary’, when he meant ‘machinery’). I have the ‘privilege’ to work closely with Praveen since I was sort of his assistant like if he needs something and I don’t have a problem working for that since he’s a very humble, approachable and considerate person. It’s been my closest encounter with a foreigner, when in fact, as most of us, I find myself still uncomfortable around English speaking folks. I guess this training will help me overcome such insecurity and I’m sure by the end of this six-week training, I’ll learn a lot about Manufacturing, gain a new layer of respect for our Indian brothers and sisters, and improve my English conversational skills without adopting a different accent.

Tax. It’s the season of filing income tax returns to the government and honestly, I never cared about how much tax they deduct from my salary since it’s imposed by the law, until I got an email in my corporate inbox reminding that we need to accomplish a form with regards to substitute tax filing by Monday. Then another email came about Community Tax Certificate and instantly it reminded me why I never dreamed of becoming an accountant because the world of tax and money just hurts my head. Even so, tax, as much as we hate it but certain politicians love, is one of the many things we can’t avoid in this life.

The Secretary & The Guests

The Confession of a Secretary. Some people have this notion that since I work in an IT company, I do programming stuffs every day and that I can put up my own software development business soon. Ironically, that isn’t my case. I’ve been at bench for three weeks now, and lately, I’ve been noticing that I’m being assigned with lots of secretarial tasks by my lead. That includes sending about five emails each day, answering phone calls, providing updates to my lead and manager, and dealing with an Indian national with a hard accent—all in preparation for the training we will have starting Monday. Nonetheless, I have very little complaints working like a secretary because not long ago, the first high position I held in an org in college was to be the Assistant Secretary of CGATES before finally taking the Secretary post a year later.

The Bus Ride with Jess. A friend from college, Jess was with me on my way to work, Wednesday. This is not normal, because Jess is just one of my few friends who are still looking for their perfect jobs. Actually, we agreed to meet that morning so I can lead him better to his destination: a job interview for a company located at Dusit Hotel in Makati. We opted to take the Saulog bus even if we we’re already standing when we got in. At least in a rare chance, I was talking to someone inside the bus. I felt safer.

The Woman in the Elevator. A soft voice from a woman called out my name inside the elevator of Cybergate Tower 1 on a Thursday morning, and I was surprised to see it was Ricca Joy, a classmate from high school. She works for a different company and on a night shift job as she was just about to leave the building at around 10am. In two adjectives, I’d describe the moment as surreal (to unexpectedly see someone from the same town I live working on the same building I go to) and brief (since I needed to exit the elevator at 5th floor while she was going to the ground floor).

The Attack of Rapunzel. The person who remarked before about my thin physique has bounced back from nowhere to pick on my hairstyle this time. Rapunzel (because she thinks she has the longest and shiniest hair on earth) said my hair looks like ‘anime’ when for me, it looks so ‘Jansen’. Discontented with her first attack, she even asked what I put on my hair to make it rise then even suggested that I should consider coloring my hair. In response, I just sarcastically said “thanks for the suggestion” when I could have said “B*tch, get a life!” and darn, I hated myself for seemingly letting it pass once more. I know for a fact that I wasn’t born with the best hair genes but I just think her comment was so uncalled for and lacks the sense of humor Rapunzel think she has.

Another Beer Story

I finally reconnected with Jane & Jhayr, after them disappointing me for not coming during our December group date. It was nice to see them after about two months of nonappearance and I so much appreciate their efforts to show up this time at GST for an informal group meeting/beer session on a Friday night. Anne didn’t fail us this time too, she came with her long-time bf, Albert late and yes, the rumors were true she now has braces on her teeth. I haven’t seen her in a while though we chat online every now and then but seeing her that night with the braces for the first time, I thought she looked like Kim Chiu. My cousin Sheena came with us too who was as happy as I was to see the long-time-no-see friends and was surprisingly slow with her beer-- took two hours to finish her first bottle. Then of course, a beer session wouldn’t be complete without Rodel’s presence who introduced us to San Mig Red – beer with a drop of grenadine which taste reminds us of Lipps cherry candy we use to eat as kids. On with our agenda, we decided to make February 17, our next official group date in Island Cove again despite suggestions ranging from Splash Island, a nature hideaway in Quezon Province, falls in Laguna and bowling in MOA. The choice came up to keep things less complicated becasue for the longest time, I have been complaining to myself about how hard and disappointing it is to make a plan and communicate it to people. It is honestly very sad to think how some people can’t even bother to find way to make themselves heard by a simple text message reply or a phone call. It’s what we call courtesy and we learn this since grade school. While for this beer session, I learned about reconnection. It’s always nice to be people who have accepted you for years for who you are despite our imperfections.

The Ouch In February

Welcome February. Not my most favorite month I guess because when you’re single and love month comes in, you just feel like your heart is more vulnerable to feeling sadness, envy and even hurt at times. This Valentine’s I’m still officially single and my Friendster profile can attest to that but I’ll be feeling alone for the first time since this will be my first Valentine’s after college without my friends around. Good thing, I’ll be busy with a long training starting February 12 and on Valentine’s Day itself, I’ll be at work, coming home late since I’ll be stuck on EDSA traffic. For now, while still having plenty of idle time here at bench, I managed to get some instant inspiration and relief through Google, which I thought is worthy of sharing to fellow singles out there who are feeling the ouch this February:

“Love is a surprise, because it’s never what you thought it would be and it never comes when you wish it would. While we are waiting for the love, the universe provides us with family members, friends, and others with whom to evolve. When you are being love to these people in your life, you cannot feel lonely while waiting for your beloved. We have so much to practice, and many with whom to do so. Love is never exclusive.” (-excerpt from Break Up or Break Through: A Spiritual Guide to Richer Relationships by Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan)

The Sometimes Analogies

Sometimes, we see the big picture by looking at the small detail.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes, we try to find what we need but end up finding not what we want. It’s like craving for coffee but preferring Starbucks – an iced grande mocha latte with caramel syrup to be specific-- when we can simply grab the available instant coffee in the pantry and solve our caffeine craving.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes we see many opportunities yet we choose not to seize any. It’s like having a multiple choice test item with four options, the last being ‘none of the above’. We try to exhaust our brain thinking of the best answer, and then we realize that we need more time to decide. And when we hear the ‘last-five-minutes’ warning, we simply choose the most likely correct ‘none-of-the-above’ option, give it up and submit the paper. Other times, we take a chance, do a quick ‘mini-miny-mo’, encircle something and wait for the result.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes we miss someone but we just won’t admit. It’s like someone offers you snack and you politely refuse by saying ‘i-just-had-snack’ when in fact you still haven’t. It is fear of not getting the same response from the person we miss or of putting ourselves in a very uncomfortable situation from the one who made the offer. We rather keep things to ourselves and without sugarcoating, it’s simply called p-r-i-d-e.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes in sharing our stories, we try to cover our personal experiences by saying ‘we’ and by disguising the present with ‘sometimes’.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fish, Beer & Hotcake

My Friday night hangout was dinner with Sarita and Carol at Big Buddha Restaurant in Greenbelt 3. This was our first get together in a long time which we have planned and cancelled twice already-- first in December and second was the day before because Sarita wasn't feeling well. Finally, January 19, we made it happen. I preferred this Chinese restaurant from the variety of restaurants Sarita has lined up for us because trust me, I’ve been liking Chinese food lately that I have Chowking for lunch at least once a week. But I guess Chowking and Big Buddha would not be a fair comparison, since the earlier is a fast food while the latter is a restaurant. Big Buddha offers more upscale prices but better service while not compromising the quality of food. Try their Sweet and Sour Fish which is just perfect and only if my mom can cook fish the way they serve it in Big Buddha, I wouldn’t be eating any other kind of meat and mom would be totally happy. For now I have to settle with the happiness of sharing such a sumptuous dinner with two people I look up to so much.

The following night, I found myself intoxicated just a week after my last. The difference this time was I am not with my close college friends I normally share my jug sessions with. Only Rodel, who probably baptized me to the world of SanMig and Red Horse years ago and then two of his friends I am officially meeting for the first time yet I know are beer experts as well. But as much as I like to talk about everything that night like the topics discussed during the rounds of beer, I’d like to keep some things to myself and preserve the mutual respect for other’s privacy. All I can say is that it was one of the best drinking sessions I’ve been to-- engaging conversations, enlightening experiences, interesting people and deep realizations. Upon waking up the following morning, the best part of it perhaps is knowing that I didn’t do anything I would regret while I was drunk last night.

In continuation, I picked up my breakfast at McDonald’s Sunday morning after leaving Rodel’s pad. Two-piece hotcake with sausage and then freshly brewed coffee… yummy! how could you get wrong with that. I never had this kind of breakfast in years. The only problem I had was putting myself to sleep after having coffee and a heavy meal. I realized that I should have been taking some rest since I only had a few hours of sleep at Rodel’s room but when I think about the pan de sal-free, out-of-the-ususal breakfast I just had, yes, it’s all worth it.

My wishful thinking is that I was able to gain at least a pound or two from the food trip and alcohol intake I had in the past few days. If not, at least I was able to satisfy both my needs and wants. I'm cool with that!

The Decisions

After several weeks, I finally was able to post my first journal entry for this new year. This will be the first of what would be my frequent diary-style writing which unlike my previous blogs has a more personal, loose style of telling events and emotions. And guess where I am posting now? I decided to move my blogging from Friendster to Blogspot though I promise to make my blogs more entertaining yet remain very opinionated like what my past posts have been. I hope you like it.

END & BEGIN. The first two weeks of January have been very hectic and strenuous for me. Expecting the roll-off (end of engagement) from the ACCS project, I got to train our replacement for more than a week. Their ages are enough for them to be my mom and dad honestly. However, they are really nice people especially Sir Charlie and Ms. Kakai who even treated me lunch on my last Thursday and Friday, in the project. As of the time being, I am back at bench waiting for my next project assignment and I can only hope that the next one to be something better and to keep me longer (not that I was terminated or something but project engagements have predetermined roll-in and roll-off dates).

OLD & NEW. Finally had my hair color done at a local salon last January 7 (it probably is starting to fade by the time you’re reading this). It took about three grueling hours to get the treatment done and I have very little complaints since the result was good. My hair is now dark brown but when the light hits it, the color tends to look lighter (thank God not purple!). First time to have done this because normally since I started noticing gray highlights on my hair, I’ll buy a kit and let my mom do the trick for me. It’s like 50% cheaper done that way but trying salon-made hair color is better of course.

YES & NO. Just last week, I went to Ideal Vision to get a new pair of multi-coated eyeglasses which I long have planned to get with the confidence that the payment would be reimbursable in our company’s medical allowance. It took me a lot of time to decide which frame would suit me. 24 hours later I got my new eyeglasses, brought it home only to realize that maybe this is not what I wanted. I’d still prefer my single-coated glasses I’ve had since college when I am home and contacts when I go out.

COME & LEAVE. I went to Mark Jeff’s birthday bash in Tanza last January 13, joined by cousin Sheena and Jhing. At first I thought of not coming, but upon considering that I never been out of the house since the 2007 began, I gave it a try. Besides, it was just really nice of Mark Jeff to invite us despite that we don’t get to see and hang-out with him that often. Upon coming I got quite confused if it was Mark’s birthday I was in or his Dad’s because majority of the visitors are perhaps his father’s classmates in elementary. For a while, I also thought he invited us for New Year’s Eve party since there were quite a few distracting fireworks or maybe not, just leftovers from New Year’s celebration. Left the party early, it was an okay night. I got to eat prawns and satisfy my booze craving, I got to hang-out with my cousin Sheena and her new N70 phone, and we ride a scooter with Jess, who I haven’t seen in a long time.

ENTER & EXIT. On January 19, I was rushing to the rest room in Glorietta 4 for a quick mirror check before meeting my friend Sarita for dinner. A man turned his face away from the mirror after checking is look, and I suddenly recognized him and before I could say a word, he exited the rest room, leaving me in front of the mirror thinking to myself… OMG, it’s a small world indeed. I last saw this person stranded in September and I’m still not gonna give any name this time.

Sometimes decision-making is not in our hands and it leaves us with no choice but to just accept it and move on. But whenever we get a chance to decide for ourselves, in the end, we either find satisfaction or regret with the decision we made. We get another chance, and before we could decide to take that chance or not, it slipped away once more. Then, we realize that this is only the beginning of the many decisions we have to make this new year.